Think Like An Ethical Persuasion Expert

Many years ago, I went to visit Tim, one of my closest friends and his fiery, red headed, girlfriend, Nancy, in their high rise apartment. Right away I noticed an unusual tension in the air. As it turned out, Tim and Nancy had been arguing. Nancy’s face was flush and she was sniffling. On the other hand, Tim was clearly very irritated.

Initially, I thought about leaving them to continue their heated discussion. However, Nancy promptly grabbed her purse and coat and left. I quickly asked Tim,”What’s the matter?” In an angry tone of voice he responded, “Nancy left a *x#@ cup of juice on my keyboard again!” While Tim was talking he walked over to his keyboard and pointed at a circle of water remaining from the cup. He went on to say, “I’ve told her over and over again to not put drinks on my keyboard but she does it anyway. I’m tired of this crap!”

I walked over and looked at the keyboard, I looked at Tim, and I said these words: “Which one do you value more? The priceless woman who loves, respects, and encourages you or the keyboard you hardly play and can replace?” Silence fell over the room. I wasn’t exactly sure what Tim’s response would be to my rather direct question. But I felt comfortable posing the question to my friend of nearly 5 years at that time. Finally, the quiet was interrupted by Tim saying, “I value Nancy more.”

I went on to remind him of how much they loved each other. Naturally, he picked up the phone, called Nancy at her parents’ and apologized. My job was done.

You might be asking,”What in the world does this have to do with thinking like an ethical persuasion expert?”

It’s simple!

An ethical persuasion expert thinks objectively about the best interest of the parties involved. They also evaluate situations based on the values of the participants. In the case of Nancy and Tim, I knew they deeply loved each other and rarely did anything (to my knowledge) to intentionally hurt one another.

Yes, it was a mistake for Nancy to leave the cup of juice on Tim’s keyboard. In fact, it was careless! It caused Tim to feel disrespected and devalued. Anytime someone feels that type of emotional hurt, they will find a way to heal the pain. Unfortunately, sometimes that means ending a relationship. Other times, a time out suffices.

That aside… Tim’s and Nancy’s shared values of love, respect, and encouragement were the threads that knitted their hearts together. Once I had tapped into his own value system I was able to influence Tim in a direction that served his best interests. Ethical persuasion experts use the information they’ve learned about someone to help them reach their own desired outcomes.

What are your values? What do you value most?

With your success in mind,

Ron

P.S. Find out what it takes to triple your customer base on Immediate Influence from my guest David Bullock. Details? www.immediateinfluence.com

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