A few of weeks ago, while visiting my silvery-gray-haired, frail, and feisty, 99-year-old Grandmother in the hospital, I made a persuasion mistake. Yes, I did! More about that in moment.
Anyway, my Grandmother was quite ill from dangerously high potassium levels, dehydration, and an inadequate level of nutrition due to eating irregularly. In addition to all that, she was delusional from the drugs that were administered to restore her health. Some of the behaviors were difficult for me to witness.
For example, a few times, she stretched out her arms with fingers extended to grab something that wasn’t there. My mother or brother would ask her what she was reaching for, she’d stop, and lie back. She also kept asking if my uncle was in the house yet and insisted that someone was stealing his car. Each time my mother informed her of my uncle’s whereabouts and assured her that his car was fine.
My Grandmother also attempted to climb out of the hospital bed a few times. One of the attempts was met by me telling her that she needed to stay in the bed. My Grandmother abruptly responded by saying, “You aren’t a doctor! None of you are doctors! If my doctor tells me that, then I’ll do it!” Remember reading my admission of a persuasion mistake? Do you recognize the mistake I made?
In my haste, I mistakenly left out a very important bit of information when communicating to my Grandmother the need for her to stay in bed. I should have prefaced my statement with the fact that her doctor said she needed to remain in the bed. You see, my Grandmother was simply pointing out the fact that I had know medical authority, expertise, or background to back up my message. Therefore, she perceived my statement to persuade her to stay in bed as incredulous. How do I know that is what caused her resistance?
Later that night, when the attending nurse or doctor would ask or tell my Grandmother to do anything, she acted accordingly. What does that mean?
It means that people respond to their images of who we are and what we do, or don’t do. Stated differently, they react to their own ideas, perceptions, or beliefs of who we are. Make sense?
By the way, my Grandmother is doing much better now. In fact, she joked about dancing with me after fully recovering her strength. Thanks for all your kind words and prayers!
With your success in mind,
Ron
Wow! Great Blog post. I am glad to hear your grandmother is doing better.
So how does this apply to us in the Blogosphere? For instance, as a coach, I write on cultural identity, happiness, positive psychology and self leadership. On the one hand, I am a great researcher and I have all my sources on the other hand, I find a lot of advice that says that you should use the power of storytelling in your blog posts.
A couple of dear and close true friends have told me that sometimes I sound too clinical and more of my personality should come out.
So do I quote the experts or do I write about stuff from my personal perspective or client perspective, i.e., an individual story?
Help me find some balance here!
Interesting observation on “authority” as a persuasion tool and on the perceptual filters that we all operate with.
Do you have a way that you would recommend to quickly identify some of the pertinent perceptual filters that people are operating with when you are seeking to persuade them?
- John
Hi John,
I’m happy to see you enjoyed my post!
Yes, I have a recommended way for you to quickly identify pertinent perceptual
filters. Learn about Metaprograms. Metaprograms are the internal programs
we use in deciding what to pay attention to moment by moment. If you want to
learn more about Metaprograms, please visit the link below:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Meta-programs
John, thank you very much for stopping by and leaving your comment! Come
back soon. Okay?
Warmly,
Ron
Hi Iyabo,
Thanks for conveying your enthusiasm about this post! I really appreciate it.
I suggest that you continue to quote experts. I also highly recommend that you
begin to “write about stuff from” your personal personal perspective. In addition
to that, start telling stories and using metaphors because people find stories
entertaining and metaphors help them learn more rapidly.
Start integrating stories, quotes, and metaphors into your presentations and watch
the magic happen! Again, thanks for sharing your enthusiasm about my blog post!
I looking forward to seeing a message about how my advice helps you.
With your success in mind,
Ron
Ron,
Very interesting post about Your 99-year-old Grandmother, and nice points made for the take-away. First I’m really delighted to hear
that Your Grandmother is much improved and
that’s good news. It’s Amazing how the diet
is so important in every area of our life.
Persuasion and Perception are just a Real
set of twins necessary in the process of influence in the communication incident.
We do receive communication base on our
Perceptions/Beliefs. The Take Away for me is
a reinforcement that pointing to Recognized
Authority is the Right Track for Persuasion
in communication events. That’s the very
reason why “Thoughts” and where they come
from is so very important for our Speaking.
God Bless.
“You need to stay in bed.” isn’t quite the same as “Your doctor said you need to stay in bed.” Thank you – I learned something today!
Anytime we can quote a recognizable authority or expert when attempting to persuade and influence someone, we will enjoy better results.
Jim, glad you enjoyed the post. Apparently, you are familiar with the Dr. Cialdini’s principles of influence. Thanks for the comment!