Think Like An Ethical Persuasion Expert

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Many years ago, I went to visit Tim, one of my closest friends and his fiery, red headed, girlfriend, Nancy, in their high rise apartment. Right away I noticed an unusual tension in the air. As it turned out, Tim and Nancy had been arguing. Nancy’s face was flush and she was sniffling. On the other hand, Tim was clearly very irritated.

Initially, I thought about leaving them to continue their heated discussion. However, Nancy promptly grabbed her purse and coat and left. I quickly asked Tim,”What’s the matter?” In an angry tone of voice he responded, “Nancy left a *x#@ cup of juice on my keyboard again!” While Tim was talking he walked over to his keyboard and pointed at a circle of water remaining from the cup. He went on to say, “I’ve told her over and over again to not put drinks on my keyboard but she does it anyway. I’m tired of this crap!”
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Subconscious Tools of Influence

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Listen to David Lorenzo, partner at the Gallup Organization and I as we discuss scientifically proven tools of influence that move people to make decisions in their best interest and yours. Enjoy!
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A restaurant’s artful use of influence that surprised and delighted me

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“Aged and hand–cut especially for Friday’s, half a pound of one of the most Steak and potatoesflavorful, popular steaks around, expertly seasoned and fire–grilled to your order. Then glazed and served with our Jack Daniel’s glaze and creamy mashed potatoes.”

“Honey, I’m ordering the Jack Daniel’s Flat Iron Works entree!  It looks delicious!” After reading the same description, my wife says, “Order that for me too.” Mouth watering, I quickly picked up our cordless phone and began dialing the number listed on the TGI Friday’s website.  Seconds later, I found myself impressed by how professional and courteous the young lady was that answered the phone.  After learning that I wanted to place a carryout order, she placed me on hold.  About a minute or so later, a young lady name Miriam picked up and began interacting with me.  Miriam, was personable, cheerful, and eager to help me!

You might be wondering, “Where is the artful use of influence that surprised and delighted you?” The incredible reality of influence is, it frequently effects us without our conscious awareness.  In this particular situation, I found myself liking both of the TGI Friday’s employees right away.  What’s amazing is I didn’t realize the specific tool of influence that had started working on me until I sat down to write this post.  No, it wasn’t hunger!  :-)    It was what Dr. Robert Cialdini labeled as “Liking” in his best-selling book, “Influence: The New Psychology of Modern Persuasion.”

I’ve owned that book since 1991.  I’ve read it countless times.  And, I’ve even completed an advanced training course with six tapes and workbook about the principles Dr. Cialdini revealed in the book.  Hopefully, you recognize that the reason I’m divulging all that info is not to impress you, but to impress upon you that regardless of my extensive study and utilization of the principles of influence, they still have an impact on me.  The main reason for this is that I go into many situations knowing what I want.  What do I mean?  I knew full well what I wanted from TGI Friday’s.  I wanted to be treated courteously, cheerfully, and in a timely manner.  I also wanted a delicious meal.  With the exception of my steak not being cooked exactly the way I wanted it, the folks at TGI Friday’s located at 61st & Memorial in Tulsa, OK, delivered on all fronts.

Wait a minute!  Now, let me tell you how they surprised and delighted me.  After I arrived at the restaurant, Miriam greeted me with the same cheerful and eager-to-help attitude.  Then she went the extra mile by offering me a drink while I waited for her to get my food and change.  By the way, I turned down the drink.  Anyway, when Miriam returned with my bag of piping hot food, she also handed back the Buy One, Get One Free Jack Daniel’s entree coupon I was given for my birthday with the manager’s approval.  I remember asking her, “You’re giving the coupon back?”  Miriam cheerfully said,”Yes, I am!  You can use it again until the April 30th expiration date.  Isn’t that cool?”  I said, “Yes, that’s very cool!”  I grabbed the bag food and gave her a tip.

Do you think I used the coupon again before the expiration date?  Absolutely!

I’m curious.  Can you identify all of the six principles of influence that occurred during my experience with TGI Friday’s staff?  If you’re a master of influence, it should be easy for you.  Please write your answer in the comment section below.

I also highly recommend that you sign into that Twitter Remote thingy to the right over there.  You see it?  It’s a great way for you to be seen (and discovered) by the other, almost *1,900 folks who visit my blog each month.  I’m so grateful to know that you and many other people enjoy my blog.  Have a great weekend!

To your success,

Ron

*The number denotes an approximation of the average number of unique visitors to this blog during January 1, 2009 – April 30, 2009.  The exact total number of unique visitors is 7,575.  Thank you so very much for being one of those visitors!

Influence Happens in a Moment

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On any given day of our lives, we will find ourselves facing a myriad of circumstances that range from mostly routine to extraordinary. No matter what the circumstance, we will quickly distinguish where it falls within that range and respond accordingly. However, our immediate response will be the result of the following three components that continually influence human behavior in a moment:

1) Internal representations: First, let me restate this Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) terminology in two easily understood words that helped me instantly understand the meaning of the term. Mental Focus. Think about what that means.

I’m curious. What did you picture in your mind while considering that statement? If you didn’t picture anything, what did you say to yourself? You see, thinking consist of focusing on the images and sounds in your mind. Depending on what images you’re seeing in your mind or sounds/words you’re hearing, you will feel a certain emotion.

For example, think back now to a time in your life when you felt incredibly happy and confident. What comes to mind for you? What are you seeing and hearing internally? Hold onto that thought and make what you’re seeing… brighter, bigger, and closer. Now, while you’re seeing this in your mind, begin to turn up the volume of the sounds. How do you feel now?

I wonder how you would respond to someone cutting you off in traffic while you’re feeling incredibly happy and confident? I humbly predict you would respond/behave differently than you would if you were feeling sick and irritable. I’m also willing to risk assuming that, in the past, even when you have felt sick and irritable, you were still able to treat others courteously. Am I right? You see, you have always had the power to influence the way you feel and behave in the moment. Sure, it takes practice! And, it’s not easy all the time, but it’s worth it.

Let’s back up for a moment to the opening sentence of this post. Specifically, the part where I wrote about the myriad of circumstances that we all face on a daily basis. Inevitably, we will have all types of circumstances occur in our lives but it doesn’t matter what happens, what matters is how we respond. That reminds of a phrase I’ve heard Tony Robbins say many times, “It’s not what happens, it’s what you do that makes the difference.”

Before you read about the other two components that always influence human behavior, I’d like you to watch the following video to discover how advertisers use images and sounds to influence our behavior. Are you ready? Press the play button now.

Welcome back! How do you feel? If you use what you are learning in this post, you can feel this way whenever you want! Isn’t that exciting news?

What’s the next component?
2) Physiology: That’s a nerdy word for describing your physical body. Yes, I’m a nerd at heart. I digress. The condition that your body is in at any given moment dramatically impacts your feelings and behavior. In fact, it is the best component to start with when we want to change the way we feel and behave. Do you want to have some fun? Play along with me. Okay?

As you’re sitting there reading these words, put a big silly grin on your face, throw your hands in the air, and fully extend your arms like athletes or actors do after winning an award. How do you feel? Feels good, doesn’t it? How long did that take? A moment? Now, I want you to add…

3) Language: Say out loud what you would say, if you had won an award or an all expenses paid trip to that place you’ve been dreaming of, plus $10,000 cash! By now, you should be feeling really good. Do you not?

You see, mastering the ability to influence others will lead to success, but mastering influencing yourself will lead to success, happiness, and fulfillment. Good news is, it can happen in a moment!

Wishing you incredible success,

Ron
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The Power to Influence a Generation

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Children are like sponges, soaking up every experience, and storing it away for future reference. Sometimes children’s experiences cause them to adopt erroneous beliefs about what’s right or wrong. It is my hope that after you watch the following video, whether or not you are a parent, you will keep in mind that children are watching you.

Watching the video sparked a conversation between my wife, @Tonya_H, and I that prompted her to ask, “What beliefs do you want to impart to our children and the next generation?” She went on to ask, “If you reflect on your own behaviors, attitudes, and actions, do they line up with what you want to impart to our children?” Then she said, “If they don’t, then you must change because your children are watching you, and you certainly realize that you are influencing our children and the next generation.”

So what about you? How would you answer those same poignant questions? Food for thought, aren’t they?

With your success in mind,

Ron

The Power to Influence in 30 Seconds or Less

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One day, I was strolling through the mall when suddenly I begun to have hunger pangs. It was time to eat! As I wandered into the food court to quickly find something good to eat, the aromas from all of the fast food restaurants filled the air.

Right away, I noticed Subway and started walking towards their location for a Spicy Italian foot long. But my pace was slowed by a middle aged lady offering me a piece of meat on a toothpick. I was famished! So, I swiftly grabbed the toothpick as the lady said, “This is our Bourbon Chicken.” Seconds later, I was paying for a full plate of Bourbon Chicken and I was happy with my decision. I’m curious. Did you notice how easily and quickly I made that decision? It happened within 10 to 15 seconds!
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Seven Top Immediate Influence Posts

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Eventually any blog will have posts that are very popular for a number of reasons.  This blog isn’t an exception.  Over the weekend, I reviewed Google Analytics and the list you see below quickly emerged.  Enjoy!

7.  Strategic Influence Objecting Number Two Example:

It is almost 2009! You’ve probably been thinking about what goals you want to achieve in the new year, have you not? In the days and weeks ahead, you will have many decisions to make about what actions to take to bring about the realization of your goals.

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6.  Ten Honest Things About Me You Don’t Want to Know:

On Monday, January 12th, I was tagged by MultiMedia Producer, Angel McClinton to reveal ten honest things about myself.  Unlike the incredibly talented Angel McClinton, I haven’t included a video presentation with my ten things.  Before I get started, you might want to click on Angel’s name to see her video and forget all about reading my ten things.  Just kidding.  Kinda!

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5.  What Stops People From Achieving What They Want:

Happy New Year!!!

2008 is behind us now and a new year has begun! By now, you’re off to a great start on achieving the goals you’ve set for 2009. However, you have probably run into some opposition. Typically, opposition shows itself in two ways – but I’m only going to write about one in this post. Ready?

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4.  One Big Web 2.0 Influence Mistake That Will Ruin Your Reputation:

On Friday, January 9th I tweeted a statistic Tony Robbins revealed while being interviewed by one of Success Magazine’s writers.  The statistic is related to the number of people who won’t follow through on the resolutions aka goals they set on New Year’s Day.  Tony said, “98% of the people who set resolutions will give up within six weeks.”

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3.  How to Deeply Influence Yourself and Others:

James Van Fleet once said, “Always think in terms of what the other person wants.”

During my nearly 10 years of marriage, I’ve discovered that one of the keys to a successful relationship is thinking in terms of what my wife wants.  For instance, there are times when my wife wants to watch a romantic movie when I’d prefer to watch an action movie.  You might be saying,”Great!  Let her watch her romantic movie and you go watch an action movie on another television.”  Good idea, my rational thinking friend.  However, if I were to act on that type of thinking my wife wouldn’t get what she really wanted it from the experience.  Connectedness. Guess what?  I want to feel that too.

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2.  50 Most Powerful and Influential Men in Social Media:

Last week, as you probably know, I published a list of the 50 Most Powerful & Influential Women in Social Media. It caused quite a stir on the internet. In fact, this blog was visited by over 2,000 unique visitors the day the list was published. I truly appreciate each of you who visited that day and the following days.

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1.  50 Most Powerful and Influential Women in Social Media:

In every industry there are a few people who are inarguably outstanding at what they do. In addition to that, they are typically charismatic, energetic, and creative. In an effort to find some of these people I asked my twitter friends to nominate people who they thought were some of the most powerful and influential women in Social Media. It was no surprise that they quickly and enthusiastically responded with the list of ladies below.

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With your success in mind,

Ron Hudson