Persuasion Tips - Ron Hudson

Think Like An Ethical Persuasion Expert

Many years ago, I went to visit Tim, one of my closest friends and his fiery, red headed, girlfriend, Nancy, in their high rise apartment. Right away I noticed an unusual tension in the air. As it turned out, Tim and Nancy had been arguing. Nancy’s face was flush and she was sniffling. On the other hand, Tim was clearly very irritated.

Initially, I thought about leaving them to continue their heated discussion. However, Nancy promptly grabbed her purse and coat and left. I quickly asked Tim,”What’s the matter?” In an angry tone of voice he responded, “Nancy left a *x#@ cup of juice on my keyboard again!” While Tim was talking he walked over to his keyboard and pointed at a circle of water remaining from the cup. He went on to say, “I’ve told her over and over again to not put drinks on my keyboard but she does it anyway. I’m tired of this crap!”
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Subconscious Tools of Influence

Listen to David Lorenzo, partner at the Gallup Organization and I as we discuss scientifically proven tools of influence that move people to make decisions in their best interest and yours. Enjoy!
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Subconscious Tools of Influence [15:19m]: Play Now | Play in Popup | Download (726)

Social Influence Gone Bad

After watching the video, did you say to yourself, “I would’ve stood my ground and continued giving the correct answer.” If you said that to yourself, or something similar, I’m not surprised. I’ve heard similar statements from others that have seen or heard me describe the scenario in the video. I certainly told myself with absolute certainty that’s what I would have done. The reason I would’ve done so, and I’m assuming your reason’s the same, is I wouldn’t lie. In particular, it is due to the fact that the scenario is based on such a trivial circumstance.

But, what about a circumstance that isn’t trivial? How about one that pertains to our health and well-being? Stick with me here.
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Top Persuaders Easily Impact Emotions

Over the years, you, like me have had fun, exciting, joyful, and happy experiences that you can instantly remember when prompted to do so. For example, I distinctly remember my Mom giving me my first bicycle. It was royal blue! The handlebars had motorcycle style racing grips and it had an 8 inch wide ten speed type seat with shock-absorber-like coil springs underneath. As you might imagine, I spent many hours riding that bike, alone and with friends, for countless miles. What fun times I had! Can you remember your first bike?

Why do you remember? The short explanation is… you were in a heightened emotional state of excitement, joyfulness, or happiness back then. Additionally, you went on to have many pleasurable moments while riding your bike, didn’t you? Anyway, you might be asking, “What does this have to do with persuasion?” Good question!
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Perceptual Persuasion Strategy: NLP Reframing

Hi, Ron Hudson here! Welcome back to the Immediate Influence Blog. It’s been quite a while since my last post. In fact, I’ve gone almost 30 days without posting anything. But, here I am today to reveal a powerful strategy of influence known as Reframing. Reframing enables you to alter, shift, or change an individual’s and/or audience’s perceptions about an experience, idea, political view, product, etc.

Last week, a friend of mine who serves in our country’s military sent me an email of which you are about to read a portion now. After reading this portion of the email, I guarantee you will walk away understanding the power of Reframing. Ready?

“Luke AFB is west of Phoenix and is rapidly being surrounded by civilization that complains about the noise from the base and its planes, forgetting that it was there long before they were. A certain lieutenant colonel at Luke AFB deserves a big pat on the back. Apparently, an individual who lives somewhere near Luke AFB wrote the local paper complaining about a group of F-16s that disturbed his/her day at the mall.”

The complaint:

“Question of the day for Luke Air Force Base:

Whom do we thank for the morning air show? Last Wednesday, at precisely 9:11 A.M., a tight formation of four F-16 jets made a low pass over Arrowhead Mall, continuing west over Bell Road at approximately 500 feet. Imagine our good fortune! Do the Tom Cruise wannabes feel we need this wake-up call, or were they trying to impress the cashiers at Mervyns early bird special?

Any response would be appreciated.”

Name withheld

-end of complaint

The response:

“Regarding ‘A wake-up call from Luke’s jets’ on June 15, at precisely 9:12 a.m., a perfectly timed four-ship fly by of F-16s from the 63rd Fighter Squadron at Luke Air Force Base flew over the grave of Capt. Jeremy Fresques. Capt. Freques was an Air Force officer who was previously stationed at Luke Air Force Base and was killed in Iraq on May 30, Memorial Day.

At 9 a.m. on June 15, his family and friends gathered at Sunland Memorial Park in Sun City to mourn the loss of a husband, son and friend. Based on the letter writer’s recount of the fly by, and because of the jet noise, I’m sure you didn’t hear the 21-gun salute, the playing of taps, or my words to the widow and parents of Capt. Fresques as I gave them their son’s flag on behalf of the President of the United States and all the veterans and servicemen and women who understand the sacrifices they have endured…

A four-ship fly by is a display of respect the Air Force gives to those who give their lives in defense of freedom. We are professional aviators and take our jobs seriously, and on June 15 what the letter writer witnessed was four officers lining up to pay their ultimate respects.

The letter writer asks, ‘Whom do we thank for the morning air show? The 56th Fighter Wing will make the call for you, and forward your thanks to the widow and parents of Capt. Fresques, and thank them for you, for it was in their honor that my pilots flew the most honorable formation of their lives.”

Lt. Col. Grant L. Rosensteel, Jr.

USAF

-end of response

I imagine that it’s safe to assume that the complainant’s perception of that event was completely altered. Wouldn’t you agree? I’m also willing to make a second assumption about the emotional state of the complainant. I’m guessing that he/she went from indignant sarcasm to embarrassed, humbled, and sad for Capt. Fresques wife and parents. What emotions did you experience right after reading the complaint? How quickly did the response cause a shift in your emotions? That’s the power of Reframing.

In closing, it’s difficult to know all of what is going on in many situations that may cause you to feel angry, sad, frustrated, etc., so do yourself a favor in the future and ask yourself these simple questions: How do I feel about being ___ about this? What else might be going on here that I’m totally unaware of now? In asking those questions, you’ll notice the intensity of your emotion(s) lessen, and you’ll be able to handle tense situations much better. Will you do that for yourself?

One more thing. I encourage you to invest time today to let our servicemen and women know how grateful you are for their willingness to die for our freedom.

May God bless the military forces of these United States! Thank you all.

With gratitude and respect,

Ron

A restaurant’s artful use of influence that surprised and delighted me

“Aged and hand–cut especially for Friday’s, half a pound of one of the most flavorful, popular steaks around, expertly seasoned and fire–grilled to your order. Then glazed and served with our Jack Daniel’s glaze and creamy mashed potatoes.”

“Honey, I’m ordering the Jack Daniel’s Flat Iron Works entree! It looks delicious!” After reading the same description, my wife says, “Order that for me too.” Mouth watering, I quickly picked up our cordless phone and began dialing the number listed on the TGI Friday’s website. Seconds later, I found myself impressed by how professional and courteous the young lady was that answered the phone. After learning that I wanted to place a carryout order, she placed me on hold. About a minute or so later, a young lady name Miriam picked up and began interacting with me. Miriam, was personable, cheerful, and eager to help me!

You might be wondering, “Where is the artful use of influence that surprised and delighted you?” The incredible reality of influence is, it frequently effects us without our conscious awareness. In this particular situation, I found myself liking both of the TGI Friday’s employees right away. What’s amazing is I didn’t realize the specific tool of influence that had started working on me until I sat down to write this post. No, it wasn’t hunger! It was what Dr. Robert Cialdini labeled as “Liking” in his best-selling book, “Influence: The New Psychology of Modern Persuasion.”

I’ve owned that book since 1991. I’ve read it countless times. And, I’ve even completed an advanced training course with six tapes and workbook about the principles Dr. Cialdini revealed in the book. Hopefully, you recognize that the reason I’m divulging all that info is not to impress you, but to impress upon you that regardless of my extensive study and utilization of the principles of influence, they still have an impact on me. The main reason for this is that I go into many situations knowing what I want. What do I mean? I knew full well what I wanted from TGI Friday’s. I wanted to be treated courteously, cheerfully, and in a timely manner. I also wanted a delicious meal. With the exception of my steak not being cooked exactly the way I wanted it, the folks at TGI Friday’s located at 61st & Memorial in Tulsa, OK, delivered on all fronts.

Wait a minute! Now, let me tell you how they surprised and delighted me. After I arrived at the restaurant, Miriam greeted me with the same cheerful and eager-to-help attitude. Then she went the extra mile by offering me a drink while I waited for her to get my food and change. By the way, I turned down the drink. Anyway, when Miriam returned with my bag of piping hot food, she also handed back the Buy One, Get One Free Jack Daniel’s entree coupon I was given for my birthday with the manager’s approval. I remember asking her, “You’re giving the coupon back?” Miriam cheerfully said,”Yes, I am! You can use it again until the April 30th expiration date. Isn’t that cool?” I said, “Yes, that’s very cool!” I grabbed the bag food and gave her a tip.

Do you think I used the coupon again before the expiration date? Absolutely!

I’m curious. Can you identify all of the six principles of influence that occurred during my experience with TGI Friday’s staff? If you’re a master of influence, it should be easy for you. Please write your answer in the comment section below.

I also highly recommend that you sign into that Twitter Remote thingy to the right over there. You see it? It’s a great way for you to be seen (and discovered) by the other, almost *1,900 folks who visit my blog each month. I’m so grateful to know that you and many other people enjoy my blog. Have a great weekend!

To your success,

Ron

*The number denotes an approximation of the average number of unique visitors to this blog during January 1, 2009 – April 30, 2009. The exact total number of unique visitors is 7,575. Thank you so very much for being one of those visitors!

Conformity: The Influence of Social Media?

There I was sitting at my desk, back straight, shoulders slightly forward, rubbing my beard with my hand, and contemplating what I would write about when it dawned on me! “Write about conformity aka Social Proof as it relates to Social Media,” I said to myself. Then I questioned whether or not YouTube had a video that would help demonstrate the power of groups to influence behavior. After a few minutes of searching, I discovered the following video to illustrate the topic of this post. Go ahead and click on the play button now, please.

Welcome back! Are we so easily influenced nowadays? I’ll answered that in another post with a more recent video. Right now, I want to quickly answer the question I posed in the title of my post.

Yes! Yes, we have conformed to the influence of social media! However, the reasons that we have conformed are that we are fulfilling our basic human needs of 1) connecting with others 2) a sense of accomplishment from having influential and large numbers of connections, and 3) a feeling of uniqueness because of the diverseness of people with whom we are are connected.

Think about it. Millions of people are utilizing social networking sites right now to communicate with family, friends, customers, and clients in an effort to sustain and improve that connection. Fifteen years ago, I don’t think this behavior was as prevalent as it is now. Why? Although America Online (AOL), Compuserve, and others were thriving back then, they were charging members a monthly fee to use similar functions that, today, Facebook, Twitter, and Linkedin offer for free. Therefore, why wouldn’t we give in to the attraction of instantly connecting with people around the globe?

These top three social networking sites induce reciprocation with the force of water exploding out of a fire hydrant into the mouth of a thirsty man by offering us the ability to meet some of our basic human needs. In spite of that reality, please avoid neglecting the most intimate relationships you have in order to spend more time connecting with others on social networking sites. Why did I make that appeal? The reason is quite frequently, I hear Tony Robbins’ voice in my head saying something like, “People want to experience love, but they often settle for connection.”

You’re probably asking, “Why would someone do that?” A loving relationship, while incredibly rewarding, can also be extremely painful. That’s why some people will settle for casual and friendly relationships. Even worse are the people who would rather love, and connect with, their pets than real people. Don’t get me wrong I love Samson, our Jack Russell Terrier but the most phenomenal experiences of my life have come from my loving relationships with my wife, children, family, and friends. I am reminded of a phrase that dates back to the seventeenth century, which reads, “No man (or woman) is an island.” Stated differently, no man (or woman) is meant to be alone. I have definitely conformed to that influence. Will you?

With your success in mind,

Ron

Relevant Sources:
Robert B. Cialdini, Ph.D., (1984) Influence: The New Psychology of Modern Persuasion
Tony Robbins, (1991) Personal Power II, The Driving Force: The Six Human Needs

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